A Grandmother's Experience With Autism
Have you recently heard the words "your child has Autism" or "I believe your child might be on the spectrum" or "your child has ASD"? Hearing these words can feel like you've just been run over by a truck which describes how I felt when I found out about my grandson. We were told he probably will never talk and we should learn sign language, he may never get potty trained and might be in pull-ups for a long time and that he would likely have learning disabilities. We were referred to every local agency for support and education, he was put in a school for special needs children and we followed all the plans that were put in place. I decided that no one was going to tell us what he would not be able to do and started to see how he could have the opportunity to do all the things he could do. With hard work and perseverance, his autism is barely detectable today and even he doesn't know about it.
Asperger's Syndrome, high functioning Autism, was taken out of the DSM-4 and in 2013, the DSM-5 included Asperger's as a level on the Autism Spectrum that identifies a high functioning person with autism and Asperger's was no longer a stand-alone diagnosis.
Autism affects 1 in 54 children and boys are 4 times more likely to have it than girls. With early intervention and treatment, symptoms related to Autism can be greatly improved and in some cases completely overcome. There is currently no cure for Autism.
Some of history's most famous people are on the Autism spectrum. You might be surprised who you'll find on that list! Keep in mind that Autism doesn't define the person who has it, it is a part of who they are. Practicing 'person first' language will stop the stigma associated with Autism. This means saying, "Johnny has Autism" instead of "Johnny is autistic".
- Autism doesn't have a "look" that screams "I have Autism". There are traits that are common among some people on the spectrum but not everyone displays the same traits. When someone says "He doesn't look autistic.", on occasion I have replied, "Oh, I forgot to put his Autism shirt on today!"
- Everyone's brain works differently and children with Autism learn differently but this doesn't mean they can't learn.
- Some children with Autism are non-verbal or challenged with language and communication. My grandson was a one-word communicator until he was over 3 years old then with play and speech therapy, he started talking and hasn't stopped since! Not everyone who is non-verbal has Autism and not every person who has Autism is non-verbal.
- It is so important to find the strengths of your child with Autism and focus on building that with positive reinforcement. Some parents hear the words "your child is on the spectrum" and think that their child will never be like all the other kids. This is somewhat true in some ways but they will flourish in other areas.
- Humor for people with Autism can be a challenge. What's funny to a neurotypical person may have no effect on a person with Autism. Laughter can be forced if they hear others laughing and other times, it's non-existent. Many people with Autism don't get sarcasm either.
- Eye contact, or lack of, is a trait of some kids and adults with Autism. They are not being rude and hear what you're saying even if it appears they don't. Be patient with them and talk to them as if they are looking at you as you would to any person who doesn't have Autism.
- Kids with Autism may be black and white thinkers or take things literally. My grandson is a chicken strips and fries eater. He would eat it 3 meals a day, 7 days a week. I have jokingly said to him "If you keep eating all that chicken, you're going to start clucking". He just laughs and tells me no he won't but I can see the wheels in his brain wondering if it might happen.
- Eating challenges are common among those with Autism. Some are picky eaters, have a very small list of foods they eat and some will only eat certain foods in a particular way.
- Stimming is a common behavior among people with Autism, both children and adults and it is a form of coping. People who don't have Autism stim, too. Typically a repetitive behavior is considered stimming, such as nail biting, tapping, jiggling a leg, etc.
- My grandson's Autism has evolved over the 8 years since he was diagnosed. He is different in a sweet and quirky way. He will ramble on and on about something he has learned or seen in a video and will tell you every detail and quote it verbatim. Quoting lines from a movie or a commercial are especially common with him.
- Having patience with anyone with Autism is essential. We know they are different and sometimes we forget that others don't know why they are acting the way they do. I have no problem saying to people who are getting impatient when my grandson bends their ear, "the joys of Autism". This usually stops them and their attitude changes almost immediately.
In conclusion, remember that an Autism diagnosis isn't always a doom and gloom situation. If you feel like your child might be on the spectrum regardless of their age, speak to your healthcare provider and have them evaluated. The earlier the diagnosis and treatment interventions begin, the better the chance for a good outcome. Having a diagnosis before your child starts school will give them the benefit of having an IEP (Individualized Education Program), designed for meeting any needs they may have both academically and socially. Remember, no two people with Autism are alike. Each person with Autism is their own special person with their own challenges. Don't give up on your child, regardless of what the professionals might tell you. You are their voice and their best cheerleader!
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